This morning, my father and I sent off my mother who passed away early yesterday morning.
Yesterday, I asked my father what he would like to do for her funeral, as I wanted to do what he wanted. He told me what my parents had decided that they do not want anything big, but want small send-off. (I had heard about the part of the story, but not the whole thing.)
What they wanted was for two of us to send her off without any wake or service, no flowers etc. As my father had some information of the funeral services, we called one of them to make an arrangement. The person in charge came over and helped us so that our requests were met. He was very kind.
While we were waiting for them to come to take my mother to the place where she could rest for the night, I went to get some flowers. My father wanted to have bright color flowers. He does not like regular flower of white etc. as he has very sad memories of funerals when his mother & brother passed away when he was in high school I understand that he wants to celebrate her life with something bright. So I went to get bright color roses and tropical flowers.
After they took her away, we called our relatives to inform them of her passing. (We prepared a list together and divided work between us.) I then came home.
I decided not to write my blog last night as I did not quite feel up to it, and it was a private matter. But later I received a note asking about my mother’s condition. (I had written earlier about my frequent visits with them and also the visit the night before.) So I wrote about her passing. Many people sent kind words, which I greatly appreciate.
This morning, my father and I went to finish our send-off by cremating her. We were fortunate that we could arrange it the day after and we even had the chamber No. 7. (We were joking that she is lucky!) We brought her ashes back home, had lunch together and I came home.
These three days feel like long time, and at the same time, I feel that life is so fragile. I value our each day much more now.
My days will go back to “business as usual”, starting tomorrow, but my father has to rebuild his daily life. We tried to prepare a list so that he could start tomorrow, and for that, I asked him what his day has been like. It turned out that he spent most of his days caring for his wife, my mother– preparing meals, encouraging her to eat, etc. etc. It will be a bit of challenge for us to prepare a list for him to do, and for him to start. But we will try. For example, we can now go out together, as we need not worry about her staying home. I am sure we will make it somehow. Thank you for your support.