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These few days I came across with two examples showing me what not to do.  One was asking for THE answer without thinking and the other is sticking to one idea too much.    These behaviors have nothing to do with age, experience or gender, I find.

One was the chat I had with people at two different occasions.  I was asked the question about the role model and the type of job to look for. I am often asked the question regarding the role model.  The questions are often “How can I find the role model?” “Where can I find the role model?” “What should I do if I cannot find the role model at the company where I work?” etc.     I can share my experiences,  but cannot really give them THE answer.   I try to explain my own experiences, the way to think about it, etc. but after this type of talk for a while, they often ask “so what is the answer?”

I feel a bit discouraged whenever this happens, because my effort of trying to explain the process and to encourage them to think about the issue themselves has produced little result.  I also get discouraged because I have not been able to get my message across.

Another example was related to job. I was asked “what industries and/or companies do you try to get the job if you were looking for a job?”  I tried to respond by explaining the process of thinking through and analyzing the fit between what I want to do and what companies look for etc.  But at the end, I am often asked the question, “So which company?”   I get discouraged because I have failed in this case, too.  I do NOT have THE answer for them!

The second example is to find some people who seem to be so focused on one issue that they do not allow any other ideas/interpretations etc.  I came across with at least two examples very recently.  I do not think it is necessarily bad to focus on one issue, but what bothered me was the way they did not allow any others.  They become so overwhelming that nobody can argue or bring other perspectives.

So I thought that these are the bad examples showing what NOT to do.  Unconsciously I must have felt that I am not like them!  But then, I find myself fall into the same trap!

I believe there was an old saying? or quote  which says “You  pursue the enemy and the enemy is you.” or something like that.    How true!   We often think that we are not one of them when we criticize people, and yet, often times, when you reflect your own behavior or thinking, you find yourself doing the similar things.

Bad examples may be in myself and all I need to do is to look inside me!

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